Change

Have i changed?.... Do i feel any change?.... Am i supposed to change?......
=)
I dont know .....I don't know....... and....... of course, i dont know....

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Now my number of family members have increased...... It has doubled actually.....
All these while, my parents and relatives kept in contact with each other and i was part of it and i didnt have to make any special effort to maintain the good relationship with them...... but now.... it is I who should take the initiative.... And all this is really new to me....... And i have absolutely no idea how i'm going to do that......
If i were an out going and out spoken person, it wouldn't have been as difficult i guess....


But i have a feeling that everything will be alright..... i hope it will................................... =)

eye opener!

I guess finally its starting to sink in.......... that i am going to get engaged...
All these while, when ppl would ask me about the engagement, i would say... yea... he's from so and so place and working as this and so on...... But  never did it occurred to me that there were only about 10+ more days for me to get engaged... yea.. me..... not anyone else but me......................
All these while, it was like happening to someone else....... but ........... no.....

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Going shopping for engagement dress made me realize how alienated i was from fashion and trends...
I know what looks good and what's supposed to be worn and what the latest trend is and all...... but imagining it on me!!??..... no way!
I felt sick.... literally sick..... when i saw all the heavy, glittery, stoned, shiny apparel!....
I'm not exaggerating but after looking though about 5-6 types of clothes i could feel my stomach turning into a knot and felt like throwing up......
What do i do??... How can i escape from this???....
I wonder if there is any kind of phobia of this....... extreme fear of wearing shiny/stoned/glittery clothes.. And if i'm suffering from it!..... 'cos this fear and uneasiness is unexplainable..

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I've got soooooo much things to do that i have no idea what to do........................
If i stay at home, its not gonna happen......  if i go to work, it will never happen....... I dont know whom to talk to....... well...... i dont know what to talk/ask in the 1st place......
Feeling confused..................... very confused!

I guess its time again for me to find solace in God.....
If no one else is there...... God is and has always been there for me...... =)

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