pray for me... >.<

A pic speaks a thousand words rite?.... so i guess u know how i'm feeling now. My final presentation in this institution!... And then... and then............ leaving forever (NO!... i'm not going to die!). Just leaving the institution forever. Feels kind a sad... Not that i like going to campus too much.. Infact i hate it. The only times i like it is when i'm with S and F... Feels happy when thinking about not going back to that dreaded place... but feels sad when realizing that the loyalties cant be together as much from now on... Hmm.. actually i like my campus... Its a nice place... but... but... *sigh* i still dont like... Why??... I guess i jus like sitting in a corner of my house and rotting there! (>.<)............ Forever......... not going out........... not going anywhere....... the whole day at home........... not talking to anyone.............. not seeing anyone............ all by myself.......... all alone................... *stoned*

oh my God...

~~~

Today the whole day, i've been in front of the comp. From the time i woke up this morn until now... The only 2 hour break was to go for my *a**e lesson.

Proj Integration almost done... Report still needs to be done... Hopefully tmr night i wont have to stay up.

~~~

*SIGH* I hate being misunderstood!!... Well... That's how it has always been... all my life.. everyone misunderstands me....... i guess i just have to live with it............ or maybe i can explain to them eh?.....

~~~

Today i thank God:

- for helping me with the project integration...

~~~

That's all... Take Care Everyone...

PROJ! >.<

10pm: Integrating.................................................
11pm: Still integrating...........................................
12am: Still integrating............................................
1 am: Still integrating.............................................
1.47am : Blogging........................ *3rd time Mum waking up to ask me to slp*
~~~
After this going to continue Integrating! But at least its not like last time... I have Sat and Sun if i cant get it finished by tonight. Not like last time whereby if mon is the presentation, sun night we'll still be integrating... :P I guess this time its better than that... Hopefully the presentation will be fine?... Yea.. with God's grace..
~~~
*Sigh*
~~~
Today i thank God:
- for helping me with the integration... yea... its alot better than i thought.. by tmr, i guess i can finish it..
- for making me laugh thru my 'nightmare' haha.. ok maybe he's not a nightmare.. hahaha!.. Fell into a drain??... hahaha!...
- for letting me be in this grp... yea really... if i were in other grps, i dont think i would have been able to take it. So yea... it just proves the saying.. 'whatever happens, happens for good' Yea...really... 'Whatever that has happened is for good, whatever that is happening is for good and whatever that is going to happen is for good also' . Sometimes, i cant help but believe in this. =)
~~~
That's all. Take Care everyone =)

drained...

i feel devastated... i'm tired... physically and emotionally... i need help... can sm1 help me?... Monday's presentation on one side; IPP -> Graduation thing on another side; and other things on another side!
When happiness comes, it comes all together... and so is the case for sadness.
* the lump on my throat is really disturbing... && a heavy rain is on the way... *
~~~
Some ppl complain of lack of love... but what if ur loved too much? ... funny isn't it?
Sometimes love makes people blind and they fail to see what real happiness is...
i feel... i feel... happy?... no... sad?.. no... like want to die?... YES!
~~~
Today i thank God:
- for helping me with the proj in the form of Online Forum...
~~~
That's all... Take Care...

dont feel good...

My teeth hurtz!... (>.<) Every night, it hurts so bad that i have difficulty sleeping!... Yea! i already have trouble sleeping and to add on to it, comes my wisdom tooth!... In the day time, its not too bad... I guess it sprouts out more at night.
My Mum was telling me... "oh... for me, that wisdom tooth sprouted out after you were born." That was like when she was my age now!... She had me at 20 or 21... Omg! Can you imagine being married and having a baby at 21??... I definitely cant imagine me being a mother now!... So much responsibilities!!... I dont even know if i wan to.............................................. haha!.. okiez leave it...
~~~
Had a nice time with F after a long time... Talked and watched videos for some time ... =) ... Nice magic tricks... She's still paranoid about the planet Nibiru... haha!.. really laughed out loud after a long time.. Oh.. and had ice cream cone too... Our fav ice cream cone... haha!... But missed S.. How nice if she had been there too... =)
~~~
Today i thank God:
- for being able to meet F and letting us have a nice time... =)
- for letting me of abit of help to my grp mates... even though not too much.. but every bit counts rite?... =)
~~~
That's all... Take Care everyone... =)
~~~

I dont know what to do... I dont want to hurt any1 on purpose... but i have to... for the good of everyone..........................

solved the error!!

Yesh!.. i solved the error which has been disturbing my sleep for the past 2-3 weeks! I dunno ... i was just anyhow trying all kinds of things and suddenly this light came to my 'wonderful' (*ahem*)brain... "hmm... what if i try changing the 'private' to 'public'?" And guess what??... The error is gone!!.. Haha!... Stupid me!... i have wasted hours of my sleep trying to solve it... and finally its solved ... now i think more or less, the project should be ok... (hopefully)... with God's grace. =)
~~~
Sometimes being able to forget is a boon... and not everyone is blessed with that boon.................
~~~
Today i thank God:
- for helping me SOLVE THE ERROR OF COURSE! haha!!
~~~
Take Care Everyone... =)

end of world?...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlcPWa6SomE
End of the world is near??.... 2012?...
I dont believe... i dont want to believe actually... Smt tells me that world wouldnt end so fast...
There was commotion abt end of world in the year 2000... But we are still alive right?... So... nope i dont beleieve... Even if it ends ... so what?... Just live life to the fullest and we wouldnt have to regret anything right?... Right!
~~~
Today i thank God:
- For giving me appetite to eat.. haha! (normally i would have no appetite.. and would have to force myself to eat(>.<) )
~~~
Take Care everyone... =) ...

terrible

I feel terrible... terrible... really terrible... *Sigh*...
&& Stupid talk show!... makes me feel even worse!...
God help me!....
I dont know what to do!!... Argh!...
~~~
Future seems so uncertain... Where am i going to end up?... Am i going to continue suffering with smt that i dont like or will i get what i want/like? uh oh... me started emo-ing. Maybe i'm just too tired. Or maybe the planets are not in my favourable condition... Hehe!... =)
~~~
Today i thank God:
- for ... ermm.... giving me a nice time at the T***** D*n** Lesson =)..
~~~
Take Care Everyone...

me dead!

This new teacher is of no help... (>.<). He doesnt try to understand what we want to ask or what we are trying to say... *Sigh* ... Why did she have to go... but its ok... =) Hope she and her baby will be ok... =)... She was a nice lady... When we ask her a question, she would ask us back qns to make sure she understand what we are saying. Not like this teacher. He assumes what we are saying... (>.<)... How??... if i can solve this error, 80% of the errors will be solved!!... *Sigh*
~~~

Today i thank God:
- for ... erm... i dunno.. just keeping me alive i guess.... cant think of any... but wait... i've got so much to thank for!... how can i say i have got nothing to thank God for??...
- for the food on my table...
- for the clothes i am wearing
- for my good... erm... ok health... at least i am able to walk by myself without being bedridden
- for keeping my parents and bro healthy and happy
- okok... i can just go on and on.... that's enough for today.. =)
~~~
Take Care everyone =)

5 billion more yrs for earth

yea... It is estimated that earth will be around for abt 5 billion more years before it is unsuitable for life. (if i remember correctly). Saw this show in National Geographic this morning. It says that moon and earth has really gr8 link. And that it is because of moon that we are able to live on earth. It says that long long long (yea really really long)time ago (even b4 the dinosaur era), earth was spinning soooo much faster than now and natural disasters like volcanic eruption, earth quakes and tornadoes were like daily event. Oh i almost forgot tsunami. It says that waves would reach as high as thousands of meters. As high as mountains!
By the way, tides are caused by moon rite?... so this high tide and this huge waves carried minerals into the sea and this over time created life it seems... =) . Some even believe that DNA evolved though this process.
Interesting isint it?.. =) They say that if not for the moon, we humans wouldnt exist 'cos moon made this planet conducive for human life. And maybe, we may not be looking like how we look now... hmm... Imagine if we were not like how we are now... yea we can only imagine.. haha..
~~~
Today i thank God:
- for... hmm .. i dunno... for keeping me alive?... Yea .. at least i'm alive rite?.. =)
~~~
Project!! Aaarggh! Bye! Take Care everyone... =)
~~~

hate it...

*Sigh* I dont know what to do.... (>.<)....
~~~
Project!! (>.<) about 9 more days for submission!! How??... Integration gives problem!!... Oh God... Help me!...
The week after next week is presentation and then... going to work. Yea.. me going to work! Life is moving so fast. The older you grow the faster the life seems to going. Hmm...
~~~
Today i thank God:
- for helping me make that teeny-weeny bit of progress in project
- for making me laugh through my brother =)
~~~
That's all.. Take Care Everyone =)

*tired*

Tired... Really tired... =(
In the morning itself, woke up from a nightmare. I cant remember what exactly happened but i know it was about Ghost... Ok.. nevermind... Then went to sch in the aft noon all the way until about 8pm.
It looks like i just cant be punctual ever since 2009 began. Not that i was a punctual person b4 but recently, no matter what, i just cant seem to reach anywhere on time. Late for meeting, late for lesson, late for d*n**.. ~Sigh~
Maybe i just dread going out .........or maybe i dread staying at home.... or maybe i just dread LIVING!
*Sigh* I guess today was not as good. But still i have to thank God =) . Soooo.....
Today i thank God:
- for helping me make some progress in the project
- for making me laugh (thru my grp mate)... "me doing the hip-hop dance"... hahahaha!!
~~~
Miss F and S...............................
Cant wait for our beach trip =)
~~~
Take Care everyone... =)

i'm going to miss them...

Yea... These kids... I'm really going to miss them. Even though they can be mosterous at times, they are so angelic and innocent. But i have to say its soooo difficult to get their attention to teach. Some will be in their own world and dance as they like. Sometimes i feel bad to restrict their freedom and i'll feel like jus let them dance like how they want to. But of course i cant allow them to do that... They wont learn the proper way and the lesson will turn chaotic.. Hehe.. But at the end of it, when they say, "Bye Sister", i'll feel so.... i dunno how to explain ... but the feeling is really nice =).
I wonder after i am gone, would they remember me?... I still remember my 1st teacher. He was'nt very nice.. Of course i wasnt any good in dancing then.
Then comes my 2nd teacher. She was the one who found out that i could dance... =) And my current teacher.. she made me who i am today. Of course i've got so much more to learn. And i'm no where near perfection. But still i am thankful to all my teachers. Yes... even the not nice teacher.. haha!... So...........
Today i thank God :
- for giving me gr8 teachers
- for giving me this talent
- for giving me an opportunity to teach such wonderful kids
- for giving me my parents as my parents... 'cos they allow me to pursue my talent.
~~~
Take Care everyone =) && remember to pursue your talent 'cos your talent is a God's gift!

....

Teacher checked our individual work today. He said i was ok... progressing... 3 more week... no 2 more weeks actually!!... (>.<)
~~~
The more u try to forget smt, the more u'll remember it..............*Sigh*
~~~
From today onwards, i've decided to thank God for something that has turned out good each day. Good eh?... this way i can look at my life in a +ve way.
Today i thank God:
- for helping me be able to show my work to teacher Successfully!... =)
- he didnt embaress me as much today! Thank God! (>.<) ... omg! he has become my nightmare!
- for making me smile on my way home from sch. (usually i am so emo during bus ride.. :P(cant help it!)
- =) ( feels like a dessert who just got a once-in-a-blue-moon rain).
~~~
Have a nice day everyone... =)

3 more weekz!

Went to sch for 1/2 an hour lesson... :P By right, i was supposed to reach sch by 10am but reached at 11+. And by 12pm the class finished... Haha! Came home..had lunch and sat in front of comp. PROJECT! 3 more weeks! How??...
~~~
My health is deteriorating... Ever since FYPJ started. That will be like from sep 07 onwards. What is happening to me?...*Sigh* Soon it will be attachment. Hopefully it wont get worse... hopefully...
~~~
"*--sometimes its better to bear a little hurt now to avoid a big hurt in the future--*" dont u think so?...
~~~
Have a nice day to everyone =)

war and children...

Came across this article in msn homepage --> http://news.sg.msn.com/article.aspx?cp-documentid=2068994

Its terrible... What has the world come to?... What is happening to human beings??... Why are they becoming more like animals than human beings. Maybe its a cycle rite?... i mean it says that humans evolved from monkeys/apes. Now maybe its time to go back to the real form.. where the leaders of a tribe/group will do anything to stay in power.. even to the extend of killing their own kind(humans)! Isnt that what is happening now?...

This violence will never end...(unless earth get struck by giant asteroid and all humans are wiped out and new life begins anew) ...because these children are going to grow up with the trauma they had to face during the war.Do u think they are going to forget all these?... Of course not! A child will grow up with reminders of the war like dead parents or dead friends or even dead teachers. They will grow older and some of them will turn to take revenge... And the history repeats itself!

And its not just in Israel or Gaza. How about Africa... The Rebels and the govt??... omg ... its far worse! And the Tml Tigers vs the Sri Lankan govt?... And now India and Pak is at the verge of a war. I guess the end of world is near... unless ... unless... future generation does smt about it... But how can they do anything??.... these people are sowing the seeds of revenge into the young minds!! (>.<)

~~~

May the dead rest in peace and more importantly may the ones alive live in peace too...

*Sigh*

weird dream...

Didnt do anything for project today... The truth is i jus have no idea how to continue. Opened Eclipse and stared at the codes.. Yea just kept staring...... and staring......... and staring. And then ended up talking to my Godsister. Hehe... =) My Godsister... I have a Godsister.. =)
Its really sad when i think that i have to leave her soon. *Sigh*
~~~
Had a weird dream today... For a long time, i had not had afternoon naps. But today i did. And today i ened up sleeping until 7+. I dreamt this just before i woke up. So i could remember quite vividly. A lot of things were going on... i cant remember most of it.. This is all i can remember:
It was raining. And i was travelling in _u_o . I was coming back home from shopping in town with my mother (if i'm not wrong ... cant remember exactly). Came home and straight away my cousin demanded me to remove my shoes and she wore it. =.=
And then i went out and i saw a bat... flying/ hovering over us... It was disturbing us. Me, my mother and my grandmother was there. And also a toddler. I dont know isit my baby cousin or my brother when he was young.
I tried to shoo the bat away.. But it cling on to my hand(my index finger exactly) and started biting me. I could feel the pain... (>.<) No matter how much force i used to thow it off my hand, it jus cling to my hand. And then i jus woke up. I was scared.. Another weird thing is that my grandpa was alive in my dream when in reality he is not. When i woke up, it took me about about 3-4 seconds to realize that ... "wait!... Grandpa is not alive". I looked up at http://www.dreammoods.com/ to see what it means to see a bat in dream. Here's what i found:
To see bats in your dream, symbolizes uncleanness, demons, and annoyances. - gr8.. =.=
To dream of a black bat, signifies personal disaster. - goodie... more disaster.... *sigh*
To see a vampire bat in your dream, represents that a person in your life may be draining your of self-confidence and/or your resources. - yup it was a vampire bat.. and i definitely know who's draining my confidence from me. *Sigh* Its not someone i can run away from. I will have to be with her for a long long time... Cant run away.... *Sigh*

Anyone know a better meaning for this weird dream?... u can tell me =)...
~~~
Hopefully tomorrow will be a productive day for project... (>.<)
~~~
Have a nice day everyone! =)
"woops... too long post... hehe"

some people.........................

About 3 more weeks to submission of project!.... only half my stuff is working!.... How?.... How???....
~~~
On the way back home, there was this girl... she stopped us(me and my friend(grp member).... but my friend ran away.. hahaha!) in the middle of the footpath and stared asking if i had about 5 mins to spare. Of course i was reluctant and tried to go off... but u see last time same thing happened and i walked off with another friend of mine then i saw their expression like ... u know ... smt like hurt... i dunno... so i felt bad that time... So this time i decided to at least hear what they have to say... So i stayed... She started off by asking if i think that Ramakrishna Home children should be given a second chance and all... and i said ... "yea". And she claimed that she is from there and she had lost her parents at the age of 7 ... bla bla bla... and that she was selling ... erm u know... those badges u pin up on the bags and all. She made them it seems... ( it looks like she bought it from sm shop)...ok nevermind... Maybe she really made it... who knows... Anyway, she was like... "please sister... u would be helping me if u buy this and alll......... then i said... "i'm sorry"... Straight away she was like... "Walao!!... i was wasting my time............. "i couldnt hear what she said after that... haha!... she walked off .... i walked off...... end of story.... =.=
Yea .... this attitude jus proves that she is fake!.... Obviously she is fake!... there was no banner, no booth, not even a card to prove that she is from where she claims to be. She looks like a typical gangster by the way.. :P . U know after that i was thinking what if i confronted her about it and demands to speak to whoever was in charge of her. I mean she has to have some higher authority in charge of her rite?.... But of course.... as usual this wonderful thought of mine came to my wonderful brain 3 mins later. By then i was like 30 feet away from her. And i cant possibly go back and confront her and make a big drama at the MRT pathway rite?.... It was so crowded somemore... haha!... She has such sucky attitude.
Sigh... some people would do jus about anything to get a little extra income... But wait... what if she was for real??.... Nah!... not possible.... haha!
~~~
Take Care every one!! && dont get fooled by this kind of people okie??.... =)
Cya...

grass is greener on the other side.........

Had the worst day yesterday! B*t**y attitude from a sales girl! Felt like slapping her face! Had no choice but to BUY FROM HER!! My bro liked it. And it was for my Dad (B'day Present). Sigh... nevermind at least Dad liked it... =) (i will never go out again!!... i'll just rot and die in this little room of mine! (>.<) .... How i wish it was possible!!... but humans are social beings.. Its not possible to live alone right??... *Sigh*)
~~~
Haven't seen my good friends for more than a month now... miss them... =) . Wish to see them ... but ..... (i'll have to go out to meet them & i HATE THAT! ARGH! (WHY ME???) ... *Sigh*)
~~~
It looks like the grass is much greener on the other side................... but sometimes it really is greener.......... Right??.... Dont u think so?....
~~~
Take Care Everyone.... =)

a lost trust..... lost forever

When a trust is broken, it is lost forever.

~~~
Leg's getting better. Tmr there's meeting. At 9.30am!! Hopefully i can make it on time... (>.<).
But its already 11.48pm and i'm still watching TV... :P Cant help it! Hehe... These people sing so well! Now i wish "How nice if i had learnt music(singing) properly!!"
ok forget it..............................................

~~~
Have a nice day everyone! =)

leg still hurts.... (>.<)

Sigh... my leg still hurtz! I hate limping in public! Jus now on my way back from school, there was a young couple behind me. And i heard the gf say... "eh u very bad leh~ hahaha"... obvioulsy the gangster bf must have mocked my limping! Argh!... Whatever!! to some people seeing someone in pain is funny to them. Well actually it is funny... i mean my walking. I know that. When my grp mate laughed when i limped, i didnt mind 'cos she didnt mean it in a bad way and i could see that. But the gangster was .... well... mean. Haha!... obviously.
~~~
Going to have another major change in my life soon... again! Exactly like about 8 yrs ago. I hope i dont have to suffer like i did then. Hopefully now i'm matured enough to handle it... emotionally.
~~~
I am lucky to have my Mum as my Mum.... but sometimes i jus wish i was born to ANOTHER Lady... haha!... that's life rite?? U only want praises from others not criticisms.. :P .. And mothers are a child's gr8-est critics... like it or not.... hehe!
~~~
Have a Nice Day Everyone!
=))

My leg hurts! =(

OMG! my leg hurts! The back of my ankle's giving me problem as usual. Limped all the way to school and all the way back. And my grp mate was laughing at my limp.. haha! I was being stared at most of the time. Nono... not 'cos i was pretty but 'cos i was limping!! Such a funny sight it must have been.Hehe!

3 of my 4 parts for the project works!... Yippie! =) Hopefully i'll be able to do well. Right?.. Right?? Riiiiighhht! Hehe.

Sometimes, it makes me wonder.............. WHY ARE ALL ADULTS SO NARROW MINDED????
ok end of my wonder... =)

Have a nice day!... yea.. to u.... ya u... Hehe!

Happy 2009!

Happy New Year Everyone! =)
Lets pray for a peaceful year ahead... for all the people in the world!
Made any New Yr's Resolution??...
Well, i didnt.. :P
I just wont be able to keep up the resolution, so why bother??...
I'll just go with the flow... as my life has always been. 'Cos for me, life has never been like what i thought it will be. My life is a playground for "Fate". =) ... (hmm.... reminds me of some song... hehe)

Anyway, hopefully this yr will be a better yr for me.. 'cos 2008 has not been too good. But,hey, when has any yr been good to me... hehe!

Enjoy Everyone!

=)

the pic is from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/desireux/3094987864 by the way... =)