my toddler and me on a bad, bad day

I've heard that having a toddler makes you go haywire and that you are prone to frequent meltdowns. Well, now i'm experiencing it and its swallowing me whole!

The moment my husband stepped into the house from work today, i told him , " There's the tea on the table and dont call me for half an hour"! without even waiting for a reply i came into the bedroom and locked myself in. And here i am "bleeding" from the eyes and typing away!!

Its a mixture of feelings actually.... worthlessness, guilt, sadness, anger, remorse ......

The worst part is the feeling after screaming at my poor child... i mean its not her fault. That's how toddlers are supposed to be. Spilling things, making a mess, having frequent accidents, falling off and tipping over often.. but at that fraction of a second i just lose it.
What makes it unbearable is not having anyone to crib about it with.. someone who has time... someone who doesn't judge... someone to just listen to what i'm saying and just hold my hand.

Maybe i'm just having a bad day.... Maybe its my PMS.... Maybe.... i dont know... maybe i'm just being me........